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Let’s face it…we live in a pretty bothersome world. Everywhere you turn there is conflict, gossip, negative news etc. I honestly used to think it was impossible to be unaffected by all the negativity in the world.
As an sensitive person, I find myself very influenced by the moods and energies around me. So…when there is so much negativity in the world it can be difficult to keep a positive mindset. I can’t pinpoint an actual moment where this changed for me but now that I feel I have cracked the code to becoming unbothered, I want to share this with you so you too can be unbothered and live your best life, authentically.
What does it mean to be unbothered?
What does being unbothered mean anyways? For me being unbothered means that you don’t live in reaction to others or the world around you, of course you can still respond to it, but it does not control your inner world. Someone who is “unbothered” doesn’t get let other people’s opinions affect their mood. They just recognize that person’s opinion as exactly what it is, an opinion. You control how you decide to respond, in ALL situations. Being able to control your emotions is a superpower that you can develop.
Being unbothered means you:
- do what you want, regardless of other people’s opinions of you
- stay true to yourself
- have confidence in yourself
- you are in control of your life and emotions
- you don’t worry about things you can’t control
- acknowledging that you can’t control what others say, think or do but you can decide to be unaffected by it
- you create your own reality, by choosing what you allow
Now let’s get to how to remain unbothered in this difficult world.
Back when I thought it was impossible to not care about what other people thought, I was stuck in the mentality of ” I am who and what other people perceive me to be.” It was only after doing a lot of soul searching and realizing that each person’s perception of the world is different, based on their lived experiences.
There’s literally no way to control how others will think of you. The only way to live a fulfilling, happy life is to not let the outer world affect you in negative ways. Yes, bad circumstances and feelings will arise but it is how you allow them to affect you that determines the quality of your life.
At some point you will react and you will feel strong emotions, that is part of being a human. Like every other skill you will have to practice, become more aware and develop it over time. Stop giving up on things because they are hard! (I’m taking my own advice here too.)
1. Stop looking to external things/people for validation
Some sort of desire to fit in and be validated by our peers is natural. It’s in our human nature for survival reasons to want to fit in and conform to the group. However, especially now in our modern society, we have more freedom than ever to stop looking for that external validation to fit in and simply do what feels right for us.
Remember: it’s not your job to make people realize that they are wrong or have wrong ideas about you. Do you, and be unbothered by other people’s opinions.
2. Stay true to yourself
What you define as your normal, your right, your wrong will not be the same as other people. Stay true to yourself and forgive other people for their shortcomings. We are all afterall, literally floating on a rock in space, no one actually knows what’s going on in this life. Moral of the story is, live your own life, be true to yourself and be kind to others regarding their beliefs, EVEN if they don’t match with your own.
You don’t have anything to prove if that you are doing satisfies you and makes you happy.
3. Listen to your intuition
If something that is “normal” by other people’s standards or even society doesn’t align with you or feel right, don’t overthink it and conform. You have the power to choose your own path and listening to your “gut feeling” or intuition will bring you to where you need to be.
Think about the past, there have been so many things in history that were “normal” at the time and now we look back in horror. The people who stood up for what they thought was right and didn’t just conform to society are looked up to, even if it was hard to voice their unique opinions at the time.
4. Trust in the divine timing of your life
Stop comparing where you are to other people’s journey. As a millenial in this mess of a world we currently live in, I constantly see people around my age stressing, becoming depressed and overall losing hope in the future over not being able to buy a house, not being married yet etc.
You never know other people’s circumstances, experiences etc. and there is no set timeline. Like we just talked about, we are literally on a rock floating through space and no one actually knows the meaning of all of this.
Stop rushing to a non-existent finish line and enjoy each season of your life as it comes naturally.
Don’t be so focused on where you are going that you forget to enjoy where you are now.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Theodore Roosevelt
5. Stop Overthinking
As Eckhart Tolle put it, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but rather your thoughts about the situation.”
The more you overthink something the more you are going to find flaws and little pieces to have anxiety about. Once something is done, it’s done. You can learn or reflect but don’t overthink and drive yourself crazy. What’s happened is already past you and you can only do better in the future.
6. Get off your phone and social media
I don’t think it’s any surprise that social media and the the media in general are toxic and bad for your mental health.
You really don’t need to know what’s going on everywhere at all times. Plus, most media and social media is fake and altered in some way.
7. Stop people pleasing
You don’t have to live a life you don’t want to, just because it’s what everyone else is doing. I literally got a university degree in something I don’t actually want to pursue just because it’s what I was told I needed to do. It was what was expected of me to make other people happy, even though it made me miserable and put me in debt.
Follow your own journey and do what feels right for you. This means listening to your gut on what you want and not letting outside influences tell you what to do.
Final Thoughts
There you have it, my top 7 tips on how to remain unbothered even in this increasingly difficult world. Remember you are the creator of your own world and what you choose to allow it. You can create a happy, healthy, meaningful life on your own terms.
Related Reading
How to be Confident in Yourself
How to Stop Overthinking the Past
Inspirational Quotes to Stop Caring About What Other People Think
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