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There are a number of ways we self-sabotage and most of the time we might be unaware we are even doing it. Learn how to stop self-sabotaging so you can continue on your journey to create a life you love!
Self-sabotage can hold us back, prevent us from achieving our goals and stop us from creating our best lives.
Once you become aware of your self-sabotaging behaviours you can begin to uncover the reasons behind the sabotage and learn how to stop it.
What is self-sabotage?
If we want to learn how to stop self-sabotage we first need to know what the heck it is. Self-sabotage can come in many forms, some not as obvious as others.
This can look like is thinking negatively about yourself, not believing in your abilities and engaging in behaviour that ultimately doesn’t serve you.
This type of self sabotaging behaviour holds you back from your full potential and often times we don’t even consciously realize we are self-sabotaging!
Some self-sabotaging behaviours people often don’t recognize include:
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Self-doubt
- Negative self-talk. For example: “That is too hard, I could never do that.” “I could never start my own business, blog, website, shop etc. I just don’t have any idea how to start.”
When it comes to creating your best life and mastering your mindset you NEED to become self-aware of your self-sabotaging behaviours.
In terms of manifestation…we cannot manifest, or intentionally create the life we want if our behaviour doesn’t align with the life we intend to create.
You truly are your only limit!
Our biggest enemy is our own self-doubt. We really can achieve extraordinary things in our lives. But we sabotage our greatness because of our fear.
robin sharma
5 ways we self-sabotage:
1. Caring about other people’s opinions
When we hold other’s thoughts and opinions about our lives above our own, we are self-sabotaging our own happiness.
You are the one who has to live this life and if you’re living it to please or impress others you will live an unhappy, unfulfilling existence.
Do what feels best for you, what makes you happiest and live how you want.
2. Being stuck in our comfort zone
It’s scary but it’s the only way you will grow and make yourself better is getting uncomfortable and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
Do something that you’ve been wanting to try but have been too scared.
For example, start that blog, start that youtube channel, take up that hobby you’ve always been interested in or take a new course so you can change careers.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
3. Distracting yourself
Break your bad habits.
Some ways we self sabotage are by distracting ourselves from our true potential.
This could be watching too much TV, social media, food, etc.
4. Procrastination and Perfectionism
I included these together because they tend to show up intertwined.
You have a goal, a dream, a desire. You want to take action but you keep putting it off because you don’t know how to do it “right” or you don’t think you can do it well enough.
Simply taking action is the first step. Before starting this website I had NO tech knowledge. I literally thought it would be impossible for me.
Honestly, even after having it set up i procrastinated for a LONG time because I felt like everything needed to be “perfect”.
Spoiler…perfection truly doesn’t exist and the good news is once you actually start something, whatever that goal may be, you will gain momentum and start to learn how to make it better.
5. Being unaware of self-sabotaging behaviour
Sometimes we don’t even realize we are self sabotaging. We might make excuses or rationalize to avoid the true behind our behaviour.
For example, some people self sabotage relationships, they don’t necessarily mean to do this purposely but deep down they have some beliefs that they aren’t worthy of a healthy relationship, or they believe they can’t let anyone close because they always get hurt…this leads to them pushing people away and sabotaging otherwise good relationships without meaning to do so.
Take a step back and take a look at patterns in your life, why do these same patterns keep playing out. It can be difficult but you have to come to terms with your own behaviour before you can fix it.
Signs of self sabotage:
These are some signs of self sabotaging behaviour:
- Being a perfectionist
- Procrastination
- Self-medicating (alcohol and/or drugs)
- Not reaching goals
- Comfort eating
- Impostor syndrome
- Low self-esteem
- Controlling behaviour (trying to control a partner)
- Fear of failing
Why do we self sabotage?
When it comes to manifesting our life, self-sabotage often sneaks in because we are doubting ourselves and our abilities.
Impostor syndrome, low self-esteem and limiting beliefs can all lead to self sabotaging behaviour.
People may self sabotage due to fear or their thought patterns and keep themselves small in their comfort zones to avoid being uncomfortable which ultimately prevents growth.
How do you stop self sabotage?
These are some of the ways you can stop self sabotaging:
- Become aware of behaviours and beliefs
- Therapy from mental health professional
- Get a life coach or mindset coach to help you recognize and create an action plan to overcome these behaviours and beliefs.
- Mindfulness
- Journaling (Shadow Journaling can be very useful to getting into the deep, subconscious beliefs that are holding you back)
Helpful tools to use to overcome self-sabotage:
Check out these journal prompts for mental health that can help you dive deeper into why you are self sabotaging.
Books you may find helpful:
- You Are A Badass Everyday -Jen Sincero
- Happiness is a Choice -Barry Neil Kaufman
- Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths For A Better Life -Kanwer Singh
If you’re interested in other books that can help transform your mindset, read this article.
Final thoughts on how to stop self-sabotage:
Are you guilty of any of these self sabotaging behaviours? Most of us are guilty of at least some of these things and once you become aware you can change it, so you can create a life you love, full of happiness, purpose and fulfillment.
I hope this was helpful for you, if you have any thoughts or tips to help others don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments!
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